I am the first to admit that I am a pessimist and I have to fight hard to overcome a complaining spirit about a lot of things. I find myself in a very interesting position in my life right now with many things changing in a few short months, a new baby at home and a lot of little ones depending on me, and sometimes I like to think of myself as one of the Israelites wandering in the desert yelling at Moses. This isn’t a good thing. I am not proud of admitting this, but it’s the truth and it’s where I’m at. Lets go back to Israel’s days in the desert and I will show you what I am talking about:
Exodus 16:1-3 The whole Israelite community set out from Elim and came to the Desert of Sin, which is between Elim and Sinai, on the fifteenth day of the second month after they had come out of Egypt. 2 In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. 3 The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the Lord’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.”
You see, they had such “me” centered attitudes that they couldn’t even be thankful that they were rescued out of slavery and that God was divinely leading and protecting them in the desert. They finally complained to the point that I believe they began to fantasize about sitting around those pots of meat and stuffing their bellies in the midst of this terrible harsh reality they were actually living.
Sometimes I act like that. I am sitting around fantasizing about my former life and the “pots of meat” I once had. I remember the days before kids when I had more spare time or didn’t have spit up on my shirt by 8 am. I remember the days when I could go to sleep and not get up once until I wanted to. There are times I miss Powell and living close to the zoo and the indoor playplace or dear friends. I miss being closer to certain stores and malls. I remember the days of being able to as my husband put in his last blog post “ride in someone else’s wake”.
Satan uses those things to attack me at my weakest moments and I have to remind myself that those are not my calling. We moved to Hilliard because we knew that lives need changed here. People need to meet Jesus.
I have on many days asked God why he took away my “pots of meat” and gave me Manna to work with here in Hilliard. I am a nobody here. Our church is brand new and no one knows we’re here yet.
So my confession is that I need to remember that what God has before me is going to be way better that the “pots of meat” I once knew. God didn’t bring me to Hilliard to be isolated, alone, and wandering. He brought me here because he is going to do something new in me and through Movement Church.
Isaiah 43:19- See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland.